Your Addiction to Productivity? It’s Something Deeper
When Productivity Stops Being Helpful
I remember when my approach to staying on top of everything quietly stopped working.
I was in my office, staring at my planner, pen still in hand, seven tasks already crossed off, and way too many left.
It was barely past 10 a.m.
Technically, I was ahead.
But I didn’t feel accomplished.
I felt wired.
Chest tight. Jaw tense. Mind racing through whether I should answer that one email I’d been avoiding or reorganize something random, not because either task really mattered, but because not doing anything felt like turning up the volume on everything I was avoiding.
That’s when I had a realization:
This wasn’t about being productive.
It was about avoiding what I didn’t want to feel.
And honestly? That moment wasn’t a fluke.
It was a crack in a pattern I’d been running for years, one that looked like drive, but felt like pressure.
The relationship between productivity and self-worth is a tricky one. Many of us chase productivity as if it’s the holy grail of success, but what if I told you that this drive often stems from unresolved childhood issues? It’s a pattern I see frequently in my clients, high-achievers who feel the need to constantly prove themselves, often at the expense of their wellbeing.
When Productivity Becomes Survival, Not Efficiency
Let’s be clear, there’s nothing wrong with being productive. In fact, most of us need systems to manage life, work, and goals. Life can feel like a shitshow sometimes.
But there’s a point where “getting things done” stops being about progress and starts becoming a way to avoid discomfort. A way to escape feelings like uncertainty, shame, or helplessness. And when that shift happens? Productivity becomes survival mode.
It looks like:
Panic when your calendar opens up.
Guilt when you rest….shouldn’t everything be done first?
Choosing busy work over hard decisions.
Feeling safest when you’re doing, even if the doing isn’t helpful.
The To-Do List Addiction No One Talks About
Here’s what a lot of people don’t realize: To-do lists give us tiny hits of dopamine, the chemical your brain releases when you achieve something or anticipate a reward.
Every time you check something off? Ping. Little surge of satisfaction.
It feels great. Temporarily.
But that reward fades fast. So your brain, being clever and wired for survival, wants another hit. And another. Soon, you’re achieving just to feel okay. Not to create anything that actually matters.
You’re chasing the feeling of completion.
Why High-Achievers Confuse Productivity with Worth
This part runs deep. And for a lot of people, it started early.
Maybe you grew up in a home where performance was tied to love. Where being “good” meant being helpful, smart, successful, clean, high-achieving, but never messy, never needy, never too emotional.
So your nervous system learned:
“If I perform, I’m safe. If I disappoint, I’m not.”
This can be your body’s way of handling a perceived threat: Let me overfunction and disregard my needs so I stay liked, wanted, and un-rejectable.
You start performing, in school, work, relationships. You become a master of being impressive. But deep down? You’re just trying not to feel unworthy.
The Cultural Reward System That Fuels This
And then the world praises you for it.
We love the “hustle hero.” The person who works weekends, skips lunch, sends emails at 1am. We call them “driven.” We admire their “commitment.”
But here’s the problem:
That praise keeps you stuck. It rewards overworking, not because it’s healthy or efficient, but because it’s loud. Because it looks like accomplishment, even when it’s draining you.
You become addicted to the applause. The gold stars. The performance.
And underneath all of it…you’re exhausted.
Signs You’re Addicted to Achievement (Not Growth)
This isn’t about shame. It’s about recognition. Here’s what to watch for:
Here are a few signs this is happening in your life:
1. Stillness makes you anxious.
You always feel like something’s being forgotten, even when there’s nothing urgent.
2. You feel uneasy if you haven’t accomplished something that day.
You tell yourself you're "behind," even if no one's waiting on you.
3. You take on extra work just to feel calm.
It's not about the work. It’s about needing motion and the validation of being the reliable one.
4. You optimize instead of act.
You tweak your systems, plan again, or reorganize… instead of starting the actual work.
This is a trap I personally get into. I always feel like I need to learn more before I take action, but this is a protective strategy, and I often have to call myself out for it. Sometimes I’ll put myself on an “information diet,” so I don’t have the option to seek out more knowledge. I have to take action instead.
5. You confuse busy with valuable.
If you’re not doing something, you feel unimportant, or worse, unworthy.
This isn’t about time. This is about safety.
Practical Steps to Decouple Worth from Output
Here’s the good news: You can still get things done without being ruled by them. These are small shifts, but they create big openings.
1. Schedule Rest Like a Task
Put it on your calendar. Make it non-negotiable. If your brain resists (which it likely will), label it something practical like “recharge time.” Don’t wait to earn it. You already have.
2. Track Meaning, Not Just Tasks
End your day with these 3 questions:
What actually mattered today?
What didn’t get done, and how did that feel?
Did anything today bring clarity or peace, even if it wasn’t measurable?
This trains your brain to recognize value outside of output. Over time, it starts to rewire your reward system.
3. Do a Pre-Work Emotional Check-In
Before opening your laptop or jumping into tasks, ask:
→ What’s really driving me today?
→ Is there anything I’m avoiding feeling?
You’d be surprised how often your most “productive” hours are actually just emotional avoidance in disguise.
4. Stop Treating Self-Worth Like a Performance Review
You're not a robot. You’re allowed to feel proud before the inbox is cleared.
You're allowed to feel at peace without earning it.
If the only time you feel like you’re “doing enough” is after draining yourself — something’s off.
Final Thought
The very things we’re trying to avoid - messiness, imperfection, unapologetic authenticity - are what most of us are craving. We need to give ourselves permission to be human.
Productivity isn’t bad. But if it’s keeping you from yourself, if it’s a way to avoid, perform, or stay safe, it’s not helping you anymore.
You don’t have to earn rest.
You don’t have to prove your worth.
And you don’t have to stay busy to be valuable.
You are not a task to complete.
You’re a human being.
And that’s enough.
PS. If this hit home...
I talk more about these patterns in my book, including how perfectionism, overworking, and emotional survival strategies get tangled up, and how to start untangling them in a real, doable way.
No fluff. No forced positivity. Just honest tools for people who think too much and feel even more.
Because it’s not about doing more.
It’s about finally understanding why you’re doing it in the first place.
